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18.4.09

Houseplant BINGO! Part 2

OMG, did you hear that Ashton Kutcher got one million followers on Twitter? Yeah, I don't care either.

I was watching him on Oprah when I realized I was really immersed in a game of Houseplant BINGO! It looks like a Dracaena of some kind in the background.


But here is what I'm wondering; Why is that houseplant leaning like that? Is Mr. Demi Moore a practitioner of Hortitorture?

Houseplants usually lean like this towards a light source when they don't get even lighting. but there appears to be no window in the direction the houseplant points to. Maybe this is characteristic of houseplants in Hollywood. The houseplant figured he better lean into the shot if he or she wanted to be on Oprah. I can't blame the houseplant everyone nowadays is looking for their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm no fan of Ashton Kutcher and would be more interested in reading tweets by the houseplant behind him. As a matter of fact with the Botanicalls kit you can hook your houseplants up to give you Twitter updates.

So what would it be like if Ashton Kutcher hooked up his houseplant to Twitter with a Botanicalls kit? I think it may be something like this:


Yoga was really great. Don't feel balanced though.
about 9 hours ago from TwitterBerry

I can see some light over there. I'm going to lean towards it.
about 11 hours ago from TwitterBerry

It must he happy hour somewhere. I need a drink! ASAP!!
about 11 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Someone put dried moss on my soil! WTF?
about 11 hours ago from TwitterBerry

OMG! MiracleGro is on Twitter.
about 11 hours ago from Txt

Ashton is crying in Demi's lap again. Ugh!
about 11 hours ago from Web

I'm going to be on Oprah! W00t! W00t!
about 12 hours ago from Web

#FollowFriday @Pothos.
about 13 hours ago from web

I just cried, again, watching #SusanBoyle. AMAZING!
about 13 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Or something like that. I'd read tweets by his houseplant before I'd read updates by him. If you're curious @Pothos is a real account set up to show how Botanicalls works. Whoever owns that Pothos does a bad job of watering it because it always seems to need to be watered.

73 comments:

  1. ...ROFL...That plant looks to me like it fell over and somebody propped it up, or maybe somebody fell on it. What would Botanicalls report in that situation?

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  2. I like your blog!!!

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  3. Hahaha! I will laugh about this blog all day.

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  4. This is the most valuable thing I've read about the Ashton/Oprah stupidity.

    Poor Dracaena has to listen to all of that. No wonder it's twittering.

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  5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HYSTERICAL! ROTFLM(appendix)O. PLEASE PLEASE FOLLOW MY BLOG!
    http://nate-glovy.blogspot.com

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  6. umm I love Ashton Kutcher and I was helping him. He is a real person, who is funny and talented. It's kinda lame that you'd rather follow a plant, though I know what you mean. Don't judge. Don't hate. Focus on the good in others or even with yourself.

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  7. That is hysterical!

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  8. Hahahaha.. The thought of the plant is hilarious ! :) nice blog by the way

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  9. Too funny. Hortitorture? Now I know what I've been doing all these years.

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  10. Ha! Thanks for the laugh today. ;)

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  11. Yeah I don't get that guy. First he marries and older woman and then he acts like a little boy craving for attention. It makes me sick!

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  12. It reminds me of an episode of Ellen I saw where a viewer called up to tell Ellen that her plant was in the way and it annoyed her being right next to her head (yet still in the background). I believe she was a regular caller on the show from then on! Haha.

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  13. hahaha...not more than just a foolish thing! jiakakkaka...

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  14. Thanks for the laughter! ;)

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  15. lol thanks for a good laugh

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  16. I love the idea of a plant blogging or tweeting or whatevering-all-that-new-technology-you-crazy-kids-have. Love your take on Ashton's plant--hilarious!!

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  17. Only in Hollywood does a houseplant have it's own Blackberry.

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  18. HA, good one. I did enjoy watch Ms. Boyle though, along with more than twenty million others. Ashton and Demi make me wonder about the puny numbers on the stats at Wordpress though. That would be way too many comments to answer is the optimists view.
    Frances

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  19. THAT is hysterical. I laughed through the whole thing. Had to read it to my husband who is never amused when I read to him. Love the Twitter patter. I think I need a drink. ASAP!

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  20. Ohmilord, that is hiarr!! I saw the Ashton skype interview as well - he managed to consistently sidestep Gayle's question about his wife's "bottom" being on his twitter page. He so wanted to be taken seriously, 'butt' his own posting of his wife's ass kept poppin up. Bah! Great blog - had me chuckling into my coffee ;o)

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  21. Personally, I think the plant is drunk. It's on par with my vertical degree after a few alcoholic beverages on the town.

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  22. Girlofmanycolors being the exception, I think the commentary is pretty unanimous, MBT. Funny idea, the plant getting a say. I doubt if Ashton realizes he might be torturing a plant. He probably doesn't even know it exists. Ignorance is bliss for some people. Then you really can't judge them.

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  23. Spot on!

    I think that plant has a better twitter life than I do! lol!

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  24. This was hilarious. Nice to know someone else shares the view that twitter is the dumbest thing ever.

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  25. maybe the plant is leaning away from ashton? trying to escape the goodness that seeps from his every pore!!
    really like your blog by the way!

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  26. Finally, someone who feels about Kutcher the way I do. Funny post!

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  27. I**gasp**cannot stop**gasp** laughing!!!!!!!!!!!

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  28. Oh, you crack me up! My favorite part is, by far, the plant's tweets. Too funny. You're a delight to read. Keep up the good work.

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  29. Hortitorture. Funny! My balloon flower was leaning like that last Summer. It was obviously crying for more light. So I moved it. Hopefully it will be growing nice and straight and tall this Summer! ;-) (I hate to think I'd been torturing it. But then, it did take me awhile to get around to moving the poor thing!)

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  30. You really got the community going with this blog. You are a stitch.

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  31. Anonymous11:19 PM

    =D This is by far the best blog I've read.
    I'm not really sure what exactly Twitter is, but I don't think I really need to.
    anyway, this was interesting and funny and you just made my day.

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  32. Nice blog.
    keep up the good work.

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  33. Nice blog,but your user name conjures up disgusting pictures in my head for some reason.

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  34. lmao, LOVE the plant tweets !!!!!

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  35. Hello everyone.

    Glad you all found the humor and took a moment to comment.

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  36. I think the plant is trying to inform Ashton Kutcher that the plant itself and he should have both had a makeover before appearing on the Oprah show! They need a show called Pimp My Plants! "tehe" Thanks for visiting my blog, just returning the love! xo~

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  37. My favorite part of that picture is the fact the plant is desperately trying to break out of there. That plant is hating its life!

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  38. Everybody wants to be in the spotlight! Great blog!

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  39. lol. so funny. how do you get pictures like that . post it on a blog.

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  40. lol. so funny. how do you get pictures like that . post it on a blog.

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  41. lol. so funny. how do you get pictures like that . post it on a blog.

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  42. Just from those twitter comments, the plant has a lot more charisma than Ashton as well. Expect the plant to be signed to a three picture deal with Paramount soon.

    He'll have his botanist call your botanist. Let's do soil.

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  43. Ha ha! Cute post!

    Come check my blog out at www.karasgarden.com and let me know what you think!

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  44. I really admire people with the gift of humorously telling the world what we're all thinking!
    Right on!

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  45. Congrats on being Super enough to eb a blog of note! And, may I say, I LOVE that you don't care about Ashton K. any more than I do AND that u noticed his plants!

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  46. Thanks for sharing.

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  47. i really dont care either! aha best line ever :)

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  48. First off I'm one of the lame folks that follow Ashton on twitter although I mainly do it cuz of his wife. She seems to really dig him and that appeals to my inner sappy-girl-ness.

    As far as the plant. It looks to me like they have a house plant in a room with no windows and there's a light hanging in the corner of the room so the poor plant is stretchhhinggg over to try to get any light it can from the lamp hanging in the corner. So, in summary, the plant is not being provided for and should be removed from the home by some protective services or other.

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  49. Really clever and funny! Thought you might like my work too.

    http://thecorner33.blogspot.com/

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  50. hey I've been playing housplant bingo for years and didn't know it, thanks for giving it a name, maybe somebody just noticed the yearning of the dracena and turned it.

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  51. Hilarious!! I'll be back to read more of your posts, I just stumbled onto your blog from the Blogs of Note section on my dashboard.

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  52. ha ha
    please take a look at my artwork...
    http://www.untumsmunudmum.blogspot.com
    thanks!

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  53. hahaha.. you are so right!.. the plant is smart.. please visit my blog: http://losingweightisnoteasy.blogspot.com/

    elle

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  54. I'm guessing the plant was put in the shot at the last minute to fill the negative space over moron-boy's shoulder. It probably does live next to a window that it has to lean towards. Hopefully when someone puts it back they'll at least turn it so it can lean back the other way for awhile.

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  55. Got a good laugh! Great blog!

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  56. He has no house plants!!! The camera men stole it from somewhere.

    Only thing he grows is weed for him and his pot head wife.

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  57. ..who is Ashton Kutcher?....oops!!have I given myself away as the uncoolest person on this universe...????

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  58. laughing helplessly ... the only article with AK in it that i've ever bothered to read!

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  59. Hehehe! Most entertaining gardening blog i've ever read. Full marks!

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  60. LMMFAO! ...plants in Hollywood leaning into the shot to be on Oprah! HA!! Genius!

    :o)

    cheers!

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  61. Anonymous2:24 PM

    A sick plant is the surest sign of a sick mind.

    (Of course, let's just forget that I had a cactus die on my two years ago.)

    Love the post!

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  62. LOL! I'll admit that I enjoyed Ashton in "The Butterfly Effect", but Twitter has taken the charm right out of several famous people...I really DON'T want to know what they think/say/do every minute of every day. My young co-worker is into it, and she dropped a couple people cuz' they tweet TOO much: P. Diddy especially. Heck, I don't focus that much on what I'M doing all day! Sheesh! :)

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  63. Har har har...loved this post! Thanks for a good laugh!

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  64. I have a feeling someone grabbed the plant and stuck it there right before the interview. I agree --- I'd rather have a conversation with the plant than Ashton. ---But in the bedroom? --- umm fraid the plant would be locked out! ;)

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  65. Great post! Are you on hiatus?

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